What a show! What a performance! What costumes! What a voice!

Yes, I was lucky enough to see Grace Jones perform at the Enmore Theatre on her Hurricane tour.

It started out a little strangely. When she first came onto the stage she appeared to be hiding behind a gigantic shower curtain…

Heeeere's GRACE!

After undulating under the silver for a while she revealed herself in THIS!

Grace Jones convincingly fusing My Little Pony and Africa

She looked amazing and she sounded amazing too. She worked the crowd, she chatted, she cussed, she sang, she danced.

Then she had another costume change…

Grace convincingly fusing the Devil and the Vagina

And didn’t the costume changes keep coming? Each of them spectacular and strange. The costumes were designed by Eiko Ishioka and showed off Grace Jone’s incredible 63 year old body.  SIXTY THREE!!!!!!

Grace Jones in her peek-a-boo flame dress. Yes there is NO BACK, just her beautiful black arse, back and legs

How can she look so great? I’m sure she’s lived quite the life, in fact she was drinking cognac on-stage “for her voice” and was telling tales of her time being busted with cocaine OUTSIDE (??) her bag in India.

Is there a Dorian Gray style portrait of Grace Jones somewhere?

Grace gets back to her Jamaican roots for 'My Jamaican Guy'

But wait! There’s more! More costume changes! More raconteur-ing from backstage, MORE MORE MORE!

Yes Grace your hips DO look big in that

With her shiny sparkly bowler hat she showered us with glitter reflections as well as her enthusiastic attentions.

I have a vague memory of seeing her 20 years ago at a party at the Horden Pavilion where she took hours to come to the stage then disappeared in a huff (if my memory serves me right!). She was down right JOLLY last night!

Grace Jones, you are an ARTIST and you make art art ART

But no! There’s MORE! More costumes, more songs, more spectacular!

Grace back in black

Grace lets it fly and releases her parachute. We all cheer

Grace Jones acknowledges the crowd's worship

Grace Jones NOT showing us her 'pussy'

Grace shaking her money maker and didn't we adore her for it?

So thank Grace Jones. That was one of the greatest live shows I have seen. I loved the music too. She integrated classic Grace Jones tracks with her latest album. She looked very happy to be there, she looked amazing, she sounded fantastic.

I’m a born again Grace Jones fan!

Being a lazy lesbian all I managed to do was watch the parade, which being  a short lazy lesbian meant I didn’t actually see all that much.

Here’s what I did see…

Train carriage over whelmed by an ACTUAL screaming queen with his gaggle of fag hags. He was so loud and exited I thought my ears were going to bleed

First cab off the rank as usual... Dykes on Bikes

Mardi Gras virgin gets caught up in the excitement

I think this float had some community legends on board. It's also one of the few pictures of the parade that worked

Ladies dressed up for a big night out

Took us a while to figure out what this was ... a big pink heart with wings and ping pong balls blowing around on the inside

Lady in white giving the crowd some attitude

Mardi Gras virgin looking for someone to burst her bubble

Ladies in leather perusing the crowd

Milperra Waters maitre de in rain poncho with electric gizmo

I had no idea what this float was when I photographed it at the parade

Celebrity TV couple watch the parade with the hoi poloi

Lenny happily celebrating his community

Very beautiful young man models his Keith Richards T

How beautiful? Very beautiful!

Wouldn't want to get on the wrong end of this oddly shaped football

Post-parade plastic crate sculpture

Very happily just married couple run hand-in-hand up Oxford St

Minnie Mouse and friends post-parade bus stop rest-up

Hostess girls fuel up on pastizzis post parade

Oxford Street milk crate still life

Friends all frocked up wandering down South Dowling Street

It’s mildly entertaining…

Our final night in town included the Elvis Forever Young Show performed so well by Silas. It also contained the series of events that led to me kissing Elvis several times.

Here’s what we led me to that point of madness where I kissed Elvis and then got sick (boy germs)…

JamElvis visits the Parkes Wall of Fame

JamElvis drops by the Parkes Hotel for a drink...

Inside the joint was jumping with Elvis karaoke and Elvis dancing

Back outside we admire the Elvis inspired menu

From here we went to the Elvis Forever Young spectacular, which was amazing, but somehow leftt me wanting MORE MORE MORE!!.

So we went for a pub crawl.

First stop was The Broadway Hotel, home to the fantastic, amazing and gorgeous BROADWAY SHOWGIRLS!!! One of the showgirls commented on this blog yesterday! Actual Elvis Festival celebrity! On this blog! OMG!

Broadway Showgirls nice 'n' sweaty post undulation

Poor girls were dancing for tis Blue Elvis who sang Viva Las Vegas several times ...IN A ROW! Nice touch is the tomato sauce bottle over his shoulder

Luckily the lovely Broadway Showgirls were available for photographs…

There's gorgeous girls and then there's JamElvis and P.Nelvis

After enjoying the Showgirls company we signed up for some karaoke. With all the versions of Viva Las Vegas the wait was long so we headed up the street to the Star Hotel where the infamous Bearded Elvis aka The Bondi Bus Driver was doing his thing. So loveable was he, I HAD to kiss him…

Hot or what? Bearded Elvis sings his theme song "Elvis in Australia"

We stayed at the Star until closing, so fine was the entertainment. We made our way back to the Broadway Hotel where our song had probably been and gone. We did unfortunately witness the Broadway Showgirls in street clothes absolutely murdering Viva Las Vegas. All the showgirl mystique was brutally washed away, that’s all I’ll say.

Next stop, the Royal Hotel, which was on fire! For some reason, probably the large number of Cuba Libres I drank, there’s not many photos from this point in the evening. Nothing except pics of me kissing Elvis.

Two Elvii negotiate a kiss... Tongue or no tongue

Apart from a rather revolting set of photos of me kissing Elvis, this is the last image from  the night…

A lovely Priscilla adjusts her wig in the Ladies

Then it was back to Tent City for  Temazapan dreams so we would be fresh for the Elvis Gospel service at 8.30am.

The last day…

After a good 5 hours of death like sleeping pill snooze we awoke in Tent City refreshed for the day.

Farewell Tenty City. I don't miss you

First stop breakfast, which was a bacon and egg roll beautifully cooked by the local footy club in the Tent City facilities…

JamElvis contemplates the Temazapan sunrise. Pic: P.NElvis

We packed up and left Tent City forever. And headed down to the Elvis Gospel Service. We arrived at the same time as that Superstar… Dean Vegas!

Dean Vegas arriving at the gospel service in style, a convertible old school holden

When I look closer at this picture Dean appears a little anxious as he glances in my direction. Does he think I am some new super creepy trans-stalker? Is he thinking “That’s the lady-boi who kissed me at the show?? Is he/she going to kiss me again?? What is he/she??”.

Does Dean appear worried to you?

Anyways, on with the show.

I was moved by the Elvis Gospel Service. Perhaps it was the sanctified atmosphere of the Woolworth’s car park, or the uplifting singing that moved me to tears (yes , real tears).

I suspect it was the sleeping pill.

The cathedral like setting of the Elvis Gospel service

It was lovely right up until the minister asked us to pray. That’s when we left. And P.NElvis had second breakfast.

P.NElvis tucks into soul food ... a ham & cheese croissant

Almost time to go, we wander up the main street…

Lovely stickers on a ute parked in the centre of town

Just enough time to pop into a private collection of Elvis ummm, stuff.

P.NElvis merging seamlessly in silhouette with an Elvis banner

Like Madame Tussauds the likeness to the real person is uncanny

Highlight ... Amazing collection of Franklin Mint Elvis plates

After 4 days of Elvis euphoria, sadly, finally it was time to leave Parkes.

Not just time to leave Parkes, but time to remove those sideburns.

The best $3 I ever spent, those sideburns I stuck on my face on Thursday night. Three days later, several showers, daily trips to the pool, sweaty karaoke, hi-jinx, booze ‘n’ food and the sideburns are still there. They don’t want to come off, but come off they must!

Yes, that was painful pulling them off. Not only was removing the sideburns painful, they also left a tan line and a certain sticky substance that took days of scrubbing to completely remove.

Goodbye Elvis, hello floppy hair

So now after a hard day’s photographing Elvii it’s Saturday night, the big night in Parkes for the Elvis Festival.

And we head off to see Silas Lulic in his tribute to Elvis’ early years, “Elvis Forever Young”.

And what a tribute it was! He took on young Elvis faithfully, with no cheese ala Dean Vegas. His performance was incredibly sincere and but not too hung up on doing Elvis vocalisations, which after 3 days starts to drive you insane! Although one table cracked up hysterically every time Silas said “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

Now if you have been looking at this blog over it’s Elvis period you would have seen Silas in black leather, pancake make-up and sweat during the street parade.Well this is what he kicked off the show in…

Silas gets into the Elvis thing, and almost looks like him here

Suddenly Silas rips off his coat and he is all Jailhouse Rock-like

Before you know it there's another costume change! Cute as Kid Creole!

My oh my. Our table went crazy for his G.I Blues look. The girls (and some boys) were sighing & melting

But my eyes were wandering. Thankfully he had a few showgirls on-stage to keep me occupied

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! Showgirls!

ANOTHER costume change & Slias is hurtling through Viva Las Vegas. Turnin' day into night time. Turnin' night into daytimeIf you see it once. You'll never be the same again...

Silas goes and meets the people. The people like

Another costume change and it's Elvis's 1968 black leather comeback outfit. HOT! SWEATY! MORE MELTING!

Thankfully he unplugged his guitar as Silas is the best looking bad guitar player I have ever experienced

Silas looks good in black leather with blue lighting

Silas also looks rather fetching in black leather with red lighting

Black Silas got down with the crowd again. This particular girl was crying, YES! SOBBING! At Dean Vegas. She seems overwhelmed with anther emotion here. Stalkerness perhaps?

Silas kissed this woman several times(or she kissed him). Is it his mum?

Then I ran into some buddies at the bar. The girl I met on our first night in town. The Red Elvis called me shapeshifter

A shapeshifter I hear you ask? As he put it “I’m standing here talking to you and you’re 100% woman. Then I see you over there and it’s a man!”. What the hell does he mean?

Self reflexive moment during a toilet break during the Silas Show

From here the night got even funnier. But that’s another blog…

All the floats would turn away and mug for the Daily Telegraph, Sydney Morning Herald etc. while we true Elvis and Elvis impersonator fans were left staring at backs.

Who better to lead the parade than Dean Vegas, with not 1 but 2 Priscillas!

Priscilla wears the pants and drives the bike

A Evis Presley/Peter Allen hybrid flaunting it

Col Memphis family troupe of ETAs

An Elvis in mid karate kick

Young Elvis with the moves mastered

Blue Gimp Elvis, 'nuff said

Young handsome leathered Elvis tribute artist, Silas

Awesome young fat Elvis steals the show, ta P.NElvis for pic

But wait! There’s more! After the parade there was judging back on the main stage for the look-alike contests. Of course I had to go and of course I had to take a million photos!

The junior Priscillas were gorgeous

And I love the queenly expression on the sunglassed Priscilla

While the senior Priscillas were a mixed bag

The junior Elvis contest was fierce 'cos they were all super cute

And were quite competitive with their posing

Senior Elvis was also a tight battle

'Cos even a bad Elvis is good

The crowd was as fascinating as the stage

Elvis said the only way to find his son was by going onto the main stage

A tired skinny Elvis resting on the War Memorial

P.NElvis encounters Sigue Sigue Sputnik Elvis

One of my fav Elvii, Lemvis chilling out in black

Lovely Presley family group

Even I am starting to tire of all this Elvis action, but I still have to report on Silas and his spectacular “Elvis Forever Young” Show. Phew, later…

With about 2 hours sleep (P.NElvis got more thanks to temazapan) and feeling pretty crappy we got ourselves out of bed for the 8.30am World Record attempt for the most number of Elvis Impersonators.

Tent City blues ... P.NElvis stunned from a combination of no sleep & sleeping pills. Ooof

Somehow we managed to scrub up, get Elvisified to look like this for the World Record…

The spirit of Elvis came over us and we danced

After our warm-up photo shoot and dance sequence we headed down to the main stage where all the Elvii were mustering.

Elvii getting counted as they enter the official enclosure

And our host for the event? None other than my most favourite cheesy ETA, Dean Vegas who was assisted by Miss Priscilla 2011. Dean hogged the mic and she didn’t get to say a word. Mean Dean.

Lovely stage couple, but I was concerned Dean's red jumpsuit was a little stinky after his hot & sweaty & arousing stage show the night before

Miss Priscilla looked lovely, and I’m guessing that hair was teased and hair-sprayed all weekend long.

Here’s me with her…

JamElvis meets Miss Priscilla. Love

I was also lucky enough to have a conversation with Miss Amatuer Priscilla, who swore she would win NEXT year and was disappointed she didn’t get a cool sash like Miss Priscilla 2011′s.

Tall Miss Amatuer Priscilla with short JamElvis. Love her too

And on to the World Record Attempt…

There was a lot of Elviii, but the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of Elvis Impersonators was a tough number, 645 set in Las Vegas in November 2011.

The Parkes Elvis Festival only managed 610 and that included about 100 Priscillas, even with Optus handing out free jumpsuits and wigs. In fact they cleaned the town out of it’s jumpsuit, wig, glasses stock.

Click to view slideshow.

Straight after the World Record attempt was another highlight of the Elvis Festival, the street parade. Unfortunately it was both lamer than I hoped and I was sitting in a bad picture taking position, but here’s what I got, plus  couple of P.Nelvis’s pics.

Anyways, on with the show. I thought it was great.

Schmaltzy, cheesy, idolatry, reverent glamorous and mildly spectacular. There were showgirls after-all, Deans’ own showgirls. And NOT the only showgirls in town cos there are the supertastic Broadway Showgirls too who were used by every Elvis Tribute Artist in Parkes over the weekend.

Mr Vegas would slip from the peculiar Elvis-lite accent many of the ETAs use into his regular Aussie voice. But as I have said before, don’t the girls love him? And I do too…

The show got under way with a bang, showgirls and a red jumpsuit

Dean sizzling on-stage at the Pakes Leagues Club

Before we knew it it was half time, so I went downstairs to use the facilities…

Not sure why this sign needed elaboration, but just so we are clear THIS IS THE FEMALE AND THE LADIES TOILET!!

And I also popped into to see what entertainment was on offer in the cocktail lounge. It was none other than this fellow…

Dead ringer Steve "Elvis" King struckdumb by his rousing reception

Back upstairs for the second half of the show. By now Dean had whipped the crowd into a frenzy with moves like this …

White jump suit, Elvis moves, sex on legs

Let me just reiterate this point… the ladies love Dean…

Getting down and dirty with the girls, Dean swaps saliva

And I love Dean. He set off the whole chain reaction of kissing Elvii and it all started here…

JamElvis in raptures watching Dean. Moments later I enticed him with my woMANly ways and snagged a kiss

Dean cocks an ear as the crowd screams "WE LOVE YOU!!!"

Phew.  So exhausted were we after the incredible entertainment that P.Nelvis and I decided to head back to Tent City around 10.30pm for an early night.

Bad idea. Even though I swallowed a mouthful of valium, by 3am I am screaming SHUT UP, SHUT UP!! (yes twice like a mad lady) at my Tent City neighbours.

Through the night there were waves of people coming back to their tents, the flip flop of thongs wandering to and from the toilet, the chattering as people bedded down, every fart, a symphony of snoring.

Tired.

About 1000 people turned out to meet the train, many of them Elvii of some sort or another. We met some ladies later that night who were on the train. They said it was madness getting off and had no idea there would be  a crazed crowd of Elvii and fans to greet them. And I must say, either did we, but we sure enjoyed the spectacle…

After a late ‘n boozy night experienced on Day 1 of the Elvis Festival we luxuriated in the 5 star motel accommodation and didn’t leave the room ’til we absolutely HAD to around 9.55am.

P.Nelvis surveys the love nest, JamElvis peeks out the window

So we had a little cruise around town to see what was going on during daylight hours…

The local butcher welcomes the Elvii into town

Ute drivin' Elvis fan with bonus freaky tow ball cover

A journalist does Undercover Elvis in Parkes, steals mic' from busker

A hunk a hunk a custard tarts, Elvis style

P.Nelvis gestures lewdly at showgirl JamElvis in Elvis Central

Is it just me or is a brother and sister Elvis & Pricsilla wierd?

Col from the front, Col from the back

Col from the side & I THINK this glamour queen is his lovely wife

Col & his queen's son? Either way they were rocking as a Presley family group

JamElvis meets Silver Elvis who somehow WON the busker competition

The boredest juveline Elvis on the block

Local car wash lady all Pricisillad up. Last year she dressed as a poker machine!

Lunch time: P.NElvis's burger with the works, Elvis style

After lunch we decided it was time to take a break, cool down, mellow out and get ready for the Elvis Express. So we visited the local pool.

JamElvis with her miracle sideburns: 4 days, 4 trips to the pool, multiple showers, sideburns unmovable

P.NElvis shares a private poolside man on man moment with the King

Chlorine doing wonders for JamElvis's hair-do

And it was only 3pm! Still another hour until the Elvis Express rolled into town….