Scenes from Mardi Gras

March 7, 2011

Well the festival of gay that is Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras has finally ground to a halt for 2011.

Being a lazy lesbian all I managed to do was watch the parade, which being  a short lazy lesbian meant I didn’t actually see all that much.

Here’s what I did see…

Mardi Gras 2011

Train carriage over whelmed by an ACTUAL screaming queen with his gaggle of fag hags. He was so loud and exited I thought my ears were going to bleed

Mardi gras 2011, Dykes on Bikes

First cab off the rank as usual... Dykes on Bikes

Mardi Gras 2011

Mardi Gras virgin gets caught up in the excitement

Mardi Gras 2011

I think this float had some community legends on board. It's also one of the few pictures of the parade that worked

Mardi Gras 2011

Ladies dressed up for a big night out

Mardi Gras 2011

Took us a while to figure out what this was ... a big pink heart with wings and ping pong balls blowing around on the inside

Mardi Gras 2011

Lady in white giving the crowd some attitude

Mardi Gras 2011

Mardi Gras virgin looking for someone to burst her bubble

Mardi Gras 2011

Ladies in leather perusing the crowd

Mardi Gras 2011

Milperra Waters maitre de in rain poncho with electric gizmo

I had no idea what this float was when I photographed it at the parade

Celebrity TV couple watch the parade with the hoi poloi

Mardi Gras 2011

Lenny happily celebrating his community

Mardi Gras 2011

Very beautiful young man models his Keith Richards T

Mardi Gras 2011

How beautiful? Very beautiful!

Mardi Gras 2011

Wouldn't want to get on the wrong end of this oddly shaped football

Mardi Gras 2011

Post-parade plastic crate sculpture

Mardi Gras 2011

Very happily just married couple run hand-in-hand up Oxford St

Mardi Gras 2011

Minnie Mouse and friends post-parade bus stop rest-up

Mardi Gras 2011

Hostess girls fuel up on pastizzis post parade

Mardi Gras 2011

Oxford Street milk crate still life

Mardi Gras 2011

Friends all frocked up wandering down South Dowling Street


Elvis fest final moments

January 19, 2011

Sadly the 2011 Elvis Festival had to come to an end.

Our final night in town included the Elvis Forever Young Show performed so well by Silas. It also contained the series of events that led to me kissing Elvis several times.

Here’s what we led me to that point of madness where I kissed Elvis and then got sick (boy germs)…

Last day and night of 2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW

JamElvis visits the Parkes Wall of Fame

Last day and night of 2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW

JamElvis drops by the Parkes Hotel for a drink...

Last day and night of 2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW

Inside the joint was jumping with Elvis karaoke and Elvis dancing

Last day and night of 2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW

Back outside we admire the Elvis inspired menu

From here we went to the Elvis Forever Young spectacular, which was amazing, but somehow leftt me wanting MORE MORE MORE!!.

So we went for a pub crawl.

First stop was The Broadway Hotel, home to the fantastic, amazing and gorgeous BROADWAY SHOWGIRLS!!! One of the showgirls commented on this blog yesterday! Actual Elvis Festival celebrity! On this blog! OMG!

Last day and night of 2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW

Broadway Showgirls nice 'n' sweaty post undulation

2011 Elvis Festival in Parkes NSW

Poor girls were dancing for tis Blue Elvis who sang Viva Las Vegas several times ...IN A ROW! Nice touch is the tomato sauce bottle over his shoulder

Luckily the lovely Broadway Showgirls were available for photographs…

2011 Elvis Festival in Parkes NSW, Broadway Showgirls

There's gorgeous girls and then there's JamElvis and P.Nelvis

After enjoying the Showgirls company we signed up for some karaoke. With all the versions of Viva Las Vegas the wait was long so we headed up the street to the Star Hotel where the infamous Bearded Elvis aka The Bondi Bus Driver was doing his thing. So loveable was he, I HAD to kiss him…

2011 Elvis Festival, parkes NSW, Bearded Elvis

Hot or what? Bearded Elvis sings his theme song "Elvis in Australia"

We stayed at the Star until closing, so fine was the entertainment. We made our way back to the Broadway Hotel where our song had probably been and gone. We did unfortunately witness the Broadway Showgirls in street clothes absolutely murdering Viva Las Vegas. All the showgirl mystique was brutally washed away, that’s all I’ll say.

Next stop, the Royal Hotel, which was on fire! For some reason, probably the large number of Cuba Libres I drank, there’s not many photos from this point in the evening. Nothing except pics of me kissing Elvis.

2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW,

Two Elvii negotiate a kiss... Tongue or no tongue

Apart from a rather revolting set of photos of me kissing Elvis, this is the last image from  the night…

2011 Elvis Festival, Parkes NSW,

A lovely Priscilla adjusts her wig in the Ladies

Then it was back to Tent City for  Temazapan dreams so we would be fresh for the Elvis Gospel service at 8.30am.

The last day…

After a good 5 hours of death like sleeping pill snooze we awoke in Tent City refreshed for the day.

Farewell Tenty City. I don't miss you

First stop breakfast, which was a bacon and egg roll beautifully cooked by the local footy club in the Tent City facilities…

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

JamElvis contemplates the Temazapan sunrise. Pic: P.NElvis

We packed up and left Tent City forever. And headed down to the Elvis Gospel Service. We arrived at the same time as that Superstar… Dean Vegas!

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

Dean Vegas arriving at the gospel service in style, a convertible old school holden

When I look closer at this picture Dean appears a little anxious as he glances in my direction. Does he think I am some new super creepy trans-stalker? Is he thinking “That’s the lady-boi who kissed me at the show?? Is he/she going to kiss me again?? What is he/she??”.

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

Does Dean appear worried to you?

Anyways, on with the show.

I was moved by the Elvis Gospel Service. Perhaps it was the sanctified atmosphere of the Woolworth’s car park, or the uplifting singing that moved me to tears (yes , real tears).

I suspect it was the sleeping pill.

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

The cathedral like setting of the Elvis Gospel service

It was lovely right up until the minister asked us to pray. That’s when we left. And P.NElvis had second breakfast.

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

P.NElvis tucks into soul food ... a ham & cheese croissant

Almost time to go, we wander up the main street…

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

Lovely stickers on a ute parked in the centre of town

Just enough time to pop into a private collection of Elvis ummm, stuff.

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

P.NElvis merging seamlessly in silhouette with an Elvis banner

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

Like Madame Tussauds the likeness to the real person is uncanny

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes, NSW

Highlight ... Amazing collection of Franklin Mint Elvis plates

After 4 days of Elvis euphoria, sadly, finally it was time to leave Parkes.

Not just time to leave Parkes, but time to remove those sideburns.

The best $3 I ever spent, those sideburns I stuck on my face on Thursday night. Three days later, several showers, daily trips to the pool, sweaty karaoke, hi-jinx, booze ‘n’ food and the sideburns are still there. They don’t want to come off, but come off they must!

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes

Yes, that was painful pulling them off. Not only was removing the sideburns painful, they also left a tan line and a certain sticky substance that took days of scrubbing to completely remove.

2011 Elvis Festival Parkes

Goodbye Elvis, hello floppy hair


Elvis: Forever Young

January 16, 2011

Saturday night

So now after a hard day’s photographing Elvii it’s Saturday night, the big night in Parkes for the Elvis Festival.

And we head off to see Silas Lulic in his tribute to Elvis’ early years, “Elvis Forever Young”.

And what a tribute it was! He took on young Elvis faithfully, with no cheese ala Dean Vegas. His performance was incredibly sincere and but not too hung up on doing Elvis vocalisations, which after 3 days starts to drive you insane! Although one table cracked up hysterically every time Silas said “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

Now if you have been looking at this blog over it’s Elvis period you would have seen Silas in black leather, pancake make-up and sweat during the street parade.Well this is what he kicked off the show in…

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Pakes NSW 2011

Silas gets into the Elvis thing, and almost looks like him here

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Suddenly Silas rips off his coat and he is all Jailhouse Rock-like

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Before you know it there's another costume change! Cute as Kid Creole!

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

My oh my. Our table went crazy for his G.I Blues look. The girls (and some boys) were sighing & melting

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

But my eyes were wandering. Thankfully he had a few showgirls on-stage to keep me occupied

Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011


Silas Lulic in Elvis Forever Young at the Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

ANOTHER costume change & Slias is hurtling through Viva Las Vegas. Turnin' day into night time. Turnin' night into daytimeIf you see it once. You'll never be the same again...

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Silas goes and meets the people. The people like

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Another costume change and it's Elvis's 1968 black leather comeback outfit. HOT! SWEATY! MORE MELTING!

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Thankfully he unplugged his guitar as Silas is the best looking bad guitar player I have ever experienced

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Silas looks good in black leather with blue lighting

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Silas also looks rather fetching in black leather with red lighting

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Black Silas got down with the crowd again. This particular girl was crying, YES! SOBBING! At Dean Vegas. She seems overwhelmed with anther emotion here. Stalkerness perhaps?

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Silas kissed this woman several times(or she kissed him). Is it his mum?

Silas at Elvis Festival Parkes NSW 2011

Then I ran into some buddies at the bar. The girl I met on our first night in town. The Red Elvis called me shapeshifter

A shapeshifter I hear you ask? As he put it “I’m standing here talking to you and you’re 100% woman. Then I see you over there and it’s a man!”. What the hell does he mean?

JamElvis in the toilet mirror at Silas Show

Self reflexive moment during a toilet break during the Silas Show

From here the night got even funnier. But that’s another blog…

I kissed an Elvis (or four)

January 9, 2011

I kissed an Elvis and I liked it. In fact I liked it so much I went and kissed a few more.

Why did I kiss Elvii (the plural of Elvis)? Because I went to Parkes for the 2011 Elvis Festival and saw Dean Vegas, performing…

Dean Vegas steaming up the ladies at the 2011 Parks Elvis Festival

Dean Vegas on stage steaming up the ladies

You don’t believe Dean Vegas was making the ladies pants dance? See the evidence here…

The girls wetting themselves over Dean Vegas

The girls wetting themselves over Dean Vegas ... note the redhead on the right having a MOMENT

And I too was a little overcome and rushed the stage demanding a kiss.  He hesitated weirdly but let me peck him on the cheek which, FYI, was salty. I suspect he hesitated because the entire weekend I looked like this…

Year of Denim does Elvis drag

Me dressed and coiffured in an ode to the King in Jailhouse Rock

I’m not accusing Mr Dean Vegas of being homophobic. However I suspect he thought he was kissing a man as he peered down through the lights at me with my stuck-on sideburns.

After getting my rocks off kissing Dean Vegas I made a dedicated attempt on Saturday night to kiss some more Elvii…


The second Elvis I kissed, known as the Bearded Elvis and also the Bondi bus driver Elvis. He is very ugly and hilarious

Elvis Festival 2011

The third Elvis I kissed ... 'Black Elvis' (his suit, not his skin)

Elvis Festival Parkes

The fourth Elvis I kissed ... 'Big Nose Elvis', also known as Undercover Elvis (I think he's in the LAW enforcement business)

Big Nose Elvis liked my kiss so much he went back for seconds. I much preferred kissing one of his female entourage


I loved the Elvis Festival SO FREEEKIN’MUCH!!!  I’ll do a full breakdown right here in the next few days, but for now enjoy me and Mr PN doing Elvis on the hill above Parkes’ notorious Tent City.

What happened when a tall Elvis and a short Lady Elvis walked into a bar?

Day 2: Suit & Tie challenge

December 30, 2010

So easy!

Today I have gone for a more straightforward office look. In fact my colleagues gave it a resounding rating of three fingers! That’s good right?

Chirpy and Dick give my suit a peace sign AND the bird

This suit has no label, so it’s no challenge to yesterday’s ICU, made in Sydney, Earth red spectacular. However, I suspect it’s a Hong Kong made suit for a small man (I’m no giant) as it fits me too well.

Same place, same pose, different suit, different hair (note the denim shoes)

With a suit it’s all about the detail. The well tailored, the nice collar, the oh-just-so vent, the broken pale blue zipper replaced with a brown one (truly), and of course the shirt and tie combination.

Well today was all about the tie. Innocuous from the front, the public side, racy when flipped (aren’t we all?).

Behind this tie’s late 1970’s geometric exterior beats the heart of a girlie tie…

The saucy secret that lies hidden within my tie

Anyways, almost halfway to $100!

A new challenge

December 29, 2010

Well who’d have thought it?

Somebody has issued me with a new sartorial challenge: Wear a suit and tie every day to work for a week. And they’ll pay me $100 if I do it.

So yes, I am prostituting myself for filthy lucre, anyways…

What a fool! This person is well aware of the Year of Denim. Were they thinking I couldn’t possibly wear anything as dull and boring as a suit? Well if that’s what they thought they were wrong….

Week of suit & tie: Day 1

To kick it off I thought I should start the challenge with not quite my most ghastly suit, but it has to be close

red ICU zoot suit

Watch out media tycoons, I'm dressed for success and I'm much better red than dead

Can you believe I bought this incredible slice of fashion for a mere $8??

I KNOW! it’s unbelievable the bargains out there. The label on this suit is also amazing…

ICU red suit label

And it's even made in Sydney! 100% viscose!

Every day, now with a soundtrack!

May 24, 2010

You asked for it, so here it is.

Every outfit of every day of the Year of Denim now with matching and very appropriate soundtrack.

Special thanks to Marty Rhone’s “Mean Pair of Jeans” slightly butchered.