Day 253: Thursday 7 January

This morning I realised that Christmas is over and that holidays have to come to an end at some point.

How did I know this? Last night I realised my house is the last in Marrickville with the Christmas lights still flashing.

Why can’t Christmas lights be on all year? They are so pretty. And I think mine in particular were extra bonus gorgeous this year. I still can’t believe I didn’t win an award!

But you know what? I cannot be arsed taking them down today. I’ll do it tomorrow. Maybe. Or next week. Or next month. Or at the end of the Year of Denim. Or not at all.

In other exciting news, the Year of Denim’s Chief sub-editor is on the road in the US of A on a denim spotting tour (you have probably noticed the high error rate over the Xmas period). And hasn’t she unearthed some denim/ applique treasures in the home of fashion horror, Las Vegas…

She's little but she DOES have an excellent eye for denim

Do you prefer the sumptuous denim twin sets above, or Gillies’ private dressing room triple denim show below?

Layer upon layer of denim sealed with a kiss

Ta, Fi. I’ll have ’em all.

Here’s my very own denim triple treat…

Contemplating the rope light and kangaroo clean-up

Top: Mum’s hand crafted black denim vest

Bottom: Denim fisherman’s pants, for some reason my arse is always peeking out the top

Accessory: Dragstar denim bag, cos I don’t care what the weather man says I’m going to the beach

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting update in which I regale you with tales of cleaning and packing up rope light.

Day 251: Tuesday 5 January

Finally I have made it home. Home sweet home. Home, untidy, messy and a bit dirty, home.

But let me recount my epic journey home. Get a beer, it’s a long blog.

My lunch date in Lennox went very nicely thank you very much, but of course I was running about 2 hours later than I wanted to be. Not to worry, Ugh the Camry can sure fire up when you put the pedal to the metal! Not.

After a couple of pee stops for me and the dog we cruised into Crescent Head on the mid-north NSW coast around 7pm. I did a quick surf check. None. Very disappointing.

Back in the car and we (Taxi and I)  zoomed off at a moderate Camry friendly pace down the Point Plomer Road to find a place to camp. All the dog friendly camping spots were full or so full I would be sleeping with the red necks. So I opted to park Ugh above Goollowah camp ground over looking the beach.

Taxi ate her dinner and promptly went to bed. I fussed around setting up ‘camp’, ate my chicken roll and climbed into Ugh (the Camry)…

Gourmet chicken roll eaten at a dining table over looking the beach

So there I was lying back, reading by my portable (battery dying) light, when a car pulls up. A couple of guys get out and their ute and start fussing around the back of their car. I get nervous. Phew. They are fisherman.

I lie back down and try to read. My light dies. It’s 9.15pm. I try to sleep, but I’ve parked possibly a little too close to the road. Headlights shine straight in my eyes every time (every 5 minutes) a car goes by.

Why did I camp here? I could have camped a little further around about 50 metres off the road instead of 3 metres. I am a drongo.

After a terrible night’s sleep I wake up early, before 6 am because Taxi needs her morning constitutional…

Taxi's poo with a view

So I figure I might as well get up too, get on the road early, maybe even have a surf…

Cosy sleeping nook inside the belly of the Camry

Of course I need to take my daily denim photo first…

Denim with misty beach back drop

Top: Bought on my way up north at Raymond Terrace, first time it’s been cool enough to wear, vintage ‘Leisurewear’ pale denim shirt/jacket

Bottom: Worn for the second time, photographed for the first time, on the epic journey, Industrie jeans

Accessory: Denim cap, freshly laundered after a heavy soiling on New Year’s Eve

I have no idea about my bent kneed stance in the picture, so on with my travelogue…

So I packed up, piled Taxi into the car and went back to Crescent Head. Tiniest surf ever that can still be called surf.

Fuck it, I thought. I’m here, so’s my surfboard, I’m getting wet.

In I go. Not only is it the tiniest surf ever it’s also the lowest tide ever. At Crescent Head that means rocks everywhere. I clamber in slipping, sliding trying not to smash my board. I catch a wave. I fall off arms forward so I don’t crack my head. I grate my forearms across several barnacled rocks. Now I have stigmata.

Time to hit the road. Sort of. I pop into Port Macquarie to visit 1 of my fav’ op shops in the world. And to snap up a few bargains. But of course I can’t leave it at just 1 op shop. I decide I have to do them all.

Hours later, with not too much stuff ( another pair of jeans, a denim cap, approx 10 handi-crafted coat hangers, wine glasses and a blanket) I finally really get back into Ugh and on the road after first making a lunch enagement for Newcastle.

And now I have a confession to make…

People who know me away from the blog may recall an anti-ham rant or 2 before Christmas. The truth is I have eaten ham nearly every day since Christmas. Sometimes I have even enjoyed it. Like today’s superior toasted ham wrap created by Mr M. Tome of Mayfield. How delicious was it? See for yourselves…

Ham, cheese, tomato, pickled onion, green stuff = tasty plus!

But that’s it for the year! I am not eating any more ham (until Christmas) or bacon. No more salty porky meat!

The drive home from Newcastle was uneventful apart from interesting clouds gathering over the freeway and me trying to beat Taxi with Ugh’s sun shade in an effort to stop her chewing her box off. I have a picture of the cloud but not of me beating Taxi while she munches her vagina.

Day 244: Tuesday 29 December

Well. I have searched all of the Sunshine Coast’s op shops high and low and have come away with 2 new denim jackets (which CANNOT be worn here now coz you’d melt into a pool of denim like the wicked witch of the west), a Dolly Parton gate fold album with 3 incredible boobie corsetty pictures of her on it, and 2 books.

Oh, and the denim hot pants I am wearing today. That’s hot as in I’m sweating like crazy in them, not hot as in check out my arse cheeks.

Tomorrow I start heading south to The Wok.

Here’s my adventure in denim today…

Me and the tree

Top: Supre sweat filled vest. I know I’m soaking in it

Bottom: ‘Off Limits’ denim fisherman pants with rather labia like folds in the front

Accessory 1: Denim visor

Accessory 2: Denim birkenstocks slowly getting more and more sodden

As part of my op shop tour of Nambour today I came across quite a Christmas display, especially if you like Santa drunk and lying on a bench with a sexy lady elf off-sider…

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum ... Santa has a lie down

Meanwhile Santa’s perky Lady Elf takes command of Christmas…

Sexy Lady Elf with bonus cape looks on disapprovingly

I was trying to figure out exactly WHAT was going on with Santa, so I moved in for a closer look, which wasn’t very enlightening…

Santa really looks like he's sleeping one off. This is enhanced by the life-like booze blooms all over his face

Day 241: Saturday 26 December

Phew, Christmas is over and I made it through alive, even more excitingly, without a hangover.

So I’m off to Brisbane today to drink something called and ‘Orange Bramble’. Does anyone have any idea what that is?

I might look at some art too. There’s supposed to be some kind of sculpture art show on. Hopefully there will be a little handicraft as well, coz life ain’t worth living without a little crochet.

Leaving the rainy Sunshine Coast for the bright lights of Brisvegas

Top: Ivy chambre vest, still not dirty!

Bottom: JeansWest denim skirt bought on my last visit to the Sunshine Coast

Accessory 1: Mavi denim bag

Accessory 2: Denim cap… it’s been to Sydney and now it’s back at it’s place of origin, Peregian

Day 240: Friday 25 December

Friday 25 December.

I do believe that’s Christmas Day, which you should be able to tell by the new page header image.

I have eaten and drunk a lot so it must be true coz normally I wouldn’t do either of those things… drink OR eat heaps, or blog after eating and drinking a bulk.

However I am blogging with a beer in a stubby holder next to me while the plum pudding is bubbling away on the stove.

Christmas had been good to me. I got more JEG-fuk’n-GINGS!!! Yes jeggings for Christmas.

These ones are top quality. They have REAL pockets, not those pseudo stitched pockets. I can put my wallet in these pockets, or my hand or someone else’s hand, or my ciggies or you know… whatever.

So you know, have an ace Christmas Day, although it is nearly done here on the Sunshine Coast, enjoy everything and try to wear a shade of denim cos you know you’ll feel better.

As you will see below I feel better for wearing denim in 30 degree heat. Truthfully, I think I look a little dazed and confused, but honestly compared to everyone else, I really don’t look too bad. Really, I don’t. No honestly I look awesome.

Me + jeggings + crochet Xmas decorations + tinsel = good times

Top: Chambre Supre Xmas vesty

Bottom: Brand new jeggings, only a little crotchey and hardly camel toe-y at all

Accessory: Denim birkies

Day 234: Saturday 19 December

It’s midnight and I’m blogging and eating rocky road while I drink a final refreshing cleansing ale before bed.

It’s wrong but feels oh so right.

I don’t think it’s wise, but what the hell. You’re only middle aged once!

The other unwise thing I have done is bow to peer group pressure and done a bit of ‘intimate’ camel toe photography.

It’s a one-off experience, so enjoy it because hopefully I’ll never repeat it.

So anyway…

I had my official Xmas light Xtravaganza Launch.

Quite a crowd of double denimed people turned up thankful for the cooler night.

My first arrivals were the main person and support crew for Fatty Boomsticks in Tokyo, now back in Sydney. And both decked supportively in double denim…

Me in jeggings, Xmas sign and the double denim Newtown crew with bonus pussy (cat)

After the initial arrival a constant drizzle of double denim washed through The Ville. I managed to grab a few pics amongst my furious hostessing including this 3 way double denim & child denim expose…

Girl boy girl boy double denim trio + Ivy with bonus popped collar

The beers are causing some flagging here at the home of YoD. But I have two more pictures to add before nightie night and the morning’s blog…

Firstly is this Double Denim Departure of Tx…

Trix immersed in Xmas lights and double denim

And lastly and most revoltingly is this picture. Me and my fake stonewash jeggings hoicked up the ying yang…

Camel toe was demanded... I supplied

Until the pre-work blog, if I get it together by then…

The Morning After…

Oh dear.

How does one stop oneself blogging and taking horrible personal photos of oneself while drunk?

Isn’t’ drunk blogging illegal? No? Well it should be. For sure.

Being the administrator I COULD remove last night’s jibber. However, in the name of truth in journalism I have decided to keep it posted. A reminder, perhaps, to myself, to leave the computer alone after a lot of beer.

This morning I am both ashamed AND hungover, a pathetic combination all too familiar.

And I have to go to work.

So here’s what I am wearing…

More fashion from Lightfoot Designs + popped collar

Top: The second most recent donation to The Year of Denim (the most recent donation I received last night and is truly, really horrible. I can’t wait to wear it), Lightfoot customised denim vest, pairing nicely with…

Bottom: Ben Sherman jeans, a seamless combo with the vest

Accessory 1: Denim cap (thanks Sue)

Accessory 2: Brand free denim shoulder bag. I like

I hope you have noticed the gorgeous art work hanging above my shoulder. Yes, it is of a man hunting with his dog. The most extraordinary thing about this picture is that it is made from merino wool by the huge talent from Port Macquarie, Marion Scott. I also own a beautiful cat picture made from alpaca wool.

R.I.P Marion. Australian art is a lesser place without you. At least I think she’s dead. Why else would all these incredible art works be hanging up at Port Macquarie Lifeline?

Day 233: Friday 18 December

I am such a whore.

Every week the YoD blog entry that is the most popular is the “Am I too fat for skinny jeans” entry in June, see it here…

More than half the weekly visits are to that day. So today I am chasing that readership.

In order to give the people who are into the whole chubby girl tight jeans thing what they need, I have worn the second tightest pair of jeans currently in YoD’s stock. The tightest pair are just too damn crushing for a day in the office, and not emotionally.

In order to give you some insight into the miracle of photography I am putting up 2 versions of today’s entry. There are 2 reasons for that. One is to show the tight jeans off to their best advantage.

The other is that earlier this week I received another awesome denim care package, and I want to display part of the contents here today. Yes, ANOTHER care package, unsolicited, from a person I have never met who has amazingly generously hand crafted a vest and a bag to assist in YoD’s final months of denim splendour.

Here’s one for the chubby chasers….

Gut busting over denim = plump magic

Compare and contrast with the proper pic for today’s blog…

Glamour pose cunningly conceals muffin

Top: The first of 2 new items to grace YoD’s pages, Asphalt band made in the USA shiny denim jacket

Bottom: Oh so tight Sportsgirl jeans, every breath is felt, every mouthful of food visible

Accessory 1: From the Lightfoot studio, amazing denim bag with nasty cat screen print. Oh so NOW

Accessory 2: Denim gym boots, yeah yeah, we’ve seen it all before

And just a quick reminder that YoD’s Xmas Xtravaganza launches this evening from 7pm, 28 Leofrene Ave, Marrickville.

You’ll know it when you see it, even in the rain…

Day 228: Sunday 13 December

YoD’s Gurn Week: Day 7

It’s the last day of a sensational week of face pulling, mugging, spazzing, gurning and being downright fugly.

There would be nothing wrong in thinking there was a special face I have been saving for the final day of gurning. But I haven’t. It’s just one of the many face I have pulled this week.

I like to think of today’s face as a Christmas Gurn. The gurn you pull when you have eaten too much. The gurn you make when Christmas become over whelming. The gurn you make when you have run out quality gurns. The fall back gurn, the go to gurn, bad gurn.

Explosive gurn with handbag

Top: Mum’s denim vest, mixing up the colours today

Bottom: Topgirl denim long shorts

Accessory: Denim bum shaped handbag

Gurn: I’m holding my breath till I pass out gurn

God's gift to gurning? I don't think so

Day 225: Thursday 10 December

YoD’s Gurn Week: Day 4

I’m off to Yum Cha today. However, for some foolish reason, rather than wearing the maternity jeans given to me with the statement “They are great for yum cha” I have gone for super snug fit jeans with bonus visible muffin because of a short shirt.

What a fool?!? Oh well. Maybe tight pants will halt the usual super gorge fest YoD revels in. Doubtful, but you never know.

In other news I am still furiously working on my very special Christmas light display. But shit keeps getting in the way. I’ll never get it done! Aaarrgghhh!

Pretty pre-yum-cha gurn posture

Top: VG Jeans prettily press studded ladies shirt, cos I’m a little bit cuntry and I’m a  little bit western

Bottom: Miss Sixty oh so tight shorty jeans with gut spill

Accessory: Itty bitty denim thongs

Gurn: It seems to me that I can’t gurn unless my eyes are rolled back in my head, so once again it’s zombie style. I’m calling it the Pretentious Zombie

Gurn + string art = zombie sophistication